Malk Avengers Style
by WarriorOfTheWeek
Summary: All he wanted was some milk and all Fury wanted was some silence.


_**READ:**_

**So this is my version of Julian Smiths "Malk" on Youtube. If you haven't seen the video, I suggest you watch it before or after you read this. I own neither the character's nor the context in which this is written, I simply rendered and changed the ending to match the Avengers. **

Nick Fury stormed in the kitchen of the Avenger's Tower with his usual loud noises and heir of self-importance. However, his shoulders were slumped, and his eye drooped with exhaustion. After a long day in the field, he was thirsty and tired, not to mention his patience were running thin. Nick was so tired that he hardly noticed two dark haired men, sitting at the bar on their laptops. He opened up the fridge, peering in, searching for a cool drink.

"Hey, Fury," he heard an all to familiar voice say. He grunted, hinting for the Asgardian to continue speaking. "Can you grab me a glass of malk?" Loki asked, looking up briefly from his laptop.

Nick turned and squinted over the top of the fridge door at him. "There is no _malk_, but I can get you some milk." he snapped irritably.

Tony looked up, pulling his one of his ear buds out. "That's what he just said." he replied, shooting a puzzled look at Loki.

"Yeah, I just want some malk," Loki murmured, chuckling.

"No, you're saying it wrong your saying _malk, _like, like it's a disease." he said, stepping back and allowing the fridge door to click shut, he leaned back on the counter, eyeing the two.

Tony chuckled. "Well, how would _you_ say it?" he asked, eyebrows arching.

"I'm saying it the way everyone ought to say it; milk, M-I-L-K." he growled, narrowing his one eye and crossing his arms.

"Right, like, two percent!" Tony exclaimed.

"Yes, whole malk." Loki responded, tilting his head to the side.

"No, no, no, no, say milkshake." Fury said quickly, eyeing Loki. He couldn't tell if the god was actually having problems pronouncing the word or if he was just messing with him.

"Milkshake." Loki said easily, shrugging his shoulders and looking slightly puzzled as to the point of this exercise.

"Okay, now say milk."

"Malk."

Nick let his hands fall to his sides in exasperation and shot a look at Tony. "Stark, are you hearing this?"

"Yeah." Tony said slowly. "The man wants a glass of molk."

"Molk?" Fury repeated loudly, his face brimming with frustration.

"Director Fury," everyone turned to look at where Thor now stood in the doorway. "Inside voices, please. Lady Jane and I are trying to have a nice evening." he stated calmly, his usually booming voice eerily quiet.

"Sorry, Thor." Fury gestured at Tony and Loki. "My white friends…"

As if this was explanation enough Thor nodded and turned, disappearing down the hallway. Everyone remained silent for a moment, then Loki turned his attention back to the situation at hand.

"Fury, pour me a glass of malk!" he shouted.

"Why are you yelling at me?" Fury asked incredulously, trying to remember why he had come into the kitchen in the first place.

"Just give him the freaking molk!" Tony yelled, slamming his hand down on the counter top.

"You guys aren't even saying the same thing!" Nick screamed back, pointing an accusing finger from Tony to Loki.

"We're all saying malk, Fury!" Loki screeched waving his arms.

"No! You're saying malk, you're saying molk-" Nick began, but was cut off as both began to shout their variations of the word tauntingly at him. He rose a hand to his temple, then, unable to take it anymore, pulled his gun from his holster and shrieked, "Shut up! SHUT UP!" he aimed it first at Loki, then at Tony. "Shut up or I swear to GOD I will shoot you in the face!"

Out of force of habit, Loki was first to raise his hands in the air, as if to show he was unarmed, then nudged Tony, who did the same. The trickster figured Fury was one burst blood vein in his forehead from killing both of them, so he remained silent deciding not to push his luck, something that was rare for him in moments like these. He was relieved when Tony started speaking slowly and calmly.

"Dude, relax we were just messing with you." Tony said gently, then began to laugh softly, making it clear to Fury he wasn't laughing at _him _but more of the situation they were in. Tony kicked Loki under the table and Loki began to laugh calmly as well. Fury looked back and forth between the two, then his aim wavered, and he chuckled once, lowering his weapon to his side.

"Good," Fury breathed, holstering his gun once more. "For a second I thought you two were serious." he laughed lightheartedly, leaning back against the counter again.

"For a second I thought you had really snapped." Loki mumbled, with what seemed like disappointment, before glancing back down at his laptop screen.

"Yeah, but seriously, why so serious Fury?" Tony continued, getting up and slapping the other man on the shoulder. Tony now popped open the fridge and leaned in, grabbing a water bottle and tossing it to Fury.

Loki smiled evilly and looked over his laptop screen again. "Hey, Tony?" he asked innocently.

"Yeah?"

"Can you get me a glass of mulk?"

**So yeah, please review :D**


End file.
